I Hate You

Stabbing shooting pain erupts from my spirit as your mouth spits

lies as well-meaning truth Hatred rushes over me

It overcomes me to the point where I have no

breaking point

If I could just... NO!

But, I could just... NO!

What if I... NO!

Questions my subconscious debates with itself contemplating how

to "finish him" in this game of life Peace and calm come to me like

a giant wave from a tsunbami

You should worry

You SHOULD be worried as I smilke and hug and smell your funk

Discovering your kindness as yesterday's lunch

"Be careful"

"Be afraid", they say "the calm comes before the storm"

So, what did you want to watch? Comedy, cartoon, documentary, what? “I really don’t want to watch anything,” he said. “Can we just listen to some music instead?” “Sure,” I replied. I go to the computer and put on some jazz. He sits on the couch, looking perplexed.

“Are you ok?” I asked. I’ve never seen him look like this before. I stand in front of him in between his legs. He lays his head on my chest, embracing my back. “I’m fine,” he replies. I just missed you, and I’m trying not to fall for you.” Huh?

My facial expression turns into an emoji of confusion. Spike never mentioned that there were feelings or that he may have them for me. I’m stumped and at a loss for words. At that moment, he begins to rub the backs of my thighs, lifting my dress and revealing my bare ass.

Grabbing at each cheek like he’s trying to palm a basketball. He kisses me softly from my chest to the beginning of my “forbidden valley. Quickly, he spins me so my ass is now in his face, parting my cheeks to expose the dripping faucet that has begun to spring a leak.

I keep racking my brain and going insane

at the thought that your words bring

Confusion and distrust,

which makes me

mis-trust...

You

Your kind words

burn like acid

Your once warm hugs

scorch me with the heat of a thousand suns

The kisses that used to greet me

Now tear the flesh from my face, scarring me from the outside in

Is this payback for all my sins?